About this song
The Squash Club That Doesn’t Exist comes from island life: place, belonging, summer energy and the way a local home can open the imagination to a much bigger world.
Lyrics
Luke boarded the ferry early, Settin’ up the screen just right, For Wildlife Rescue Minjerribah, Givin’ the natives their moment tonight. Then Angel and Neil rocked up together, Fresh from wines at St Straddie’s shop, Found the temp St Straddie stall on the ferry Where stools and a barrel made the perfect stop. They chatted ’bout roos and rescues, Storms and fishing gear and all that, Then Neil said, “Squash tomorrow?” With a grin tucked under his hat. The barrel crowd let out a chuckle, But the deal was sealed real fast— Three blokes who hadn’t played in years, They were oddly keen to blast. Ohhh there’s no such thing as squash club, Though the boys actually all turned up— With forgotten rules, sideways serves And exactly zero luck. Down the stairs beneath the bar, A court too good to resist— For the squash club that doesn’t exist, Ay— the squash club that doesn’t exist. The parquetry floor was burnin’, Ceiling fans could barely spin, Angel sized the place like shop stock, Neil tried to breathe and grin. Luke swung but miss-hit bad and The ball flew wild and restless, Sweat dropped like summer mist— They’d created the squash club that doesn’t exist. Next week Linda rocked up smilin’ With two outfits from ’82, Retro whites so bright and tight The boys didn’t know what to do. Sweatbands red, white and blue, mate— Fashion none could resist— Two time-travelling champions In a squash club that doesn’t exist. Ohhh there’s no such thing as squash club, But they celebrate all the same— Oysters fresh at the Straddie Brew After today’s fun dodgy game. Lightning rippin’ over Goompi, Crackling at the squash club that doesn’t exist, Ay— the squash club that doesn’t exist. Then a traveller from Liechtenstein Came wanderin’ through the store, Asked Angel for a squash match And got one, with Luke for sure. She wiped the floor with precision, Straight sets and pure assist— Big lesson for the squash club that doesn’t exist. Rumours spread the Sharks might repurpose That hidden timber floor, And the boys all felt their spirits drop Like a mis-hit to the door. So they spread the yarn to locals, “Come play before it’s missed\!” Ay how about we pitch in and save The squash club that doesn’t exist. Ohhh there’s no such thing as squash club, But try tellin’ the island breeze— The beers or wines, the oysters, And the retro memories. Beneath the bar the echoes rise, In a court too good to resist— Long live the squash club that doesn’t exist, Ay— the squash club that doesn’t exist. Ay— the squash club that doesn’t exist. So if you ever feel the need to have a game Join the squash club that doesn’t exist.